My friend and I had a short chat about our kids last night, and also the kind of work we do. She told me that she didn't want to take on new projects because she felt guilty about being there (at home, because we work as freelancers), but not really being there, you know. And it struck me like a bag of bricks because when we were chatting over on Facebook about that, I was at the dining table, waiting for my files to download so I could begin working, while my son was in our bedroom, and I didn't even know what he was up to. A strong emotion of guilt flooded me. What the heck am I doing? I immediately got up and went upstairs to talk with my seven-year-old.
I feel like a hypocrite because I tell people that I chose to stay home so I can look after my son, when I am even busier than when I went to an actual office. I take pride in the decision I've made about staying home, and I often tell myself that it's a good thing - you know, for a mother to sacrifice a career and choose to be a "homemaker." Indeed, it is. For me, at least. But I've been working like a mad woman! If I'm not on the computer, I'm doing chores. This is not how it should be.
So I began to question myself, have I been working too much? And the answer came like a bucket of cold water splashing over my head. I calculated my hours and was shocked to be reminded that I worked more than 60 hours a week! Am I crazy? No. Just making ends meet. And I enjoy what I do, so I don't feel like crap. But now I do. Now that I realize how neglectful I've become.
So exactly how much work is too much? When do you know you're working too much?
Being Present
You know you're working too much when you feel like you're missing out on things. When was the last time I sat with my husband or child and actually talked with them - without thinking about which email I had to respond to or which to-do is left unchecked? I can't recall. I admit, I do spend time with them - we dine together, we talk, we play - but at the back of my mind, there's that tiny voice that keeps whispering, "You have to do this for blah," "The deadline for this is tomorrow," "Blah blah needs this right away." In the middle of our fun times, I just get up and leave to be with my computer. I know, it's unfair. And now that I've realized it, I feel bad.
Insight: Time lost to work that is supposed to be spent with loved ones is something you can never bring back. Once the moments have passed, they are gone forever. Boohoo!
You work too much when you neglect these precious moments and miss out on what the true goal of working is - to enjoy a quality life with the top people in your life!
Me-Time
God knows when I've had my last mani-pedi! It's been ages, I suppose. Ew. Each time I plan on going to the salon to get my nails done, I change my mind because that's just too much time wasted. How long does it take to dry my nails so I can type again? Too long, I tell myself. I keep planning on getting my hair done - my roots are shouting out like crazy, "Dye me! Dye me!"
Insight: The thing is, no matter how busy we get, we shouldn't let personal care just slip through the cracks. After all, we are only given one body. You know how are parents used to say, "Wala'y baligya nga kamot sa Carbon!" when we put our hands out of the winodw of a moving vehicle. There's a lot of truth in that! Wala'y baligya nga lain lawas sa Carbon if our bodies decide to go kaput. What will you do if it just gives up on you, huh? Taking on too many tasks is unhealthy - you already know that. You've got to say no sometimes. Remember, do not bite off more than you can chew (I have a sticky note on my notebook reminding me of this every day.)
You work too much when you think you're made of steel and forget that your body can only take so much.
Learning New Things
I know how it feels when you do things on a daily basis - you become like a programmed robot. You do this, you do that - and your brain just starts to atrophy. When you're too busy, you feel like you aren't capable of learning new things. What's stored is what gets you by. But really, I feel like I've been losing touch with how I used to be. I used to really love reading and learning. I mean, I do learn every day with the kind of job I do - but that's work-related. It's different when you're learning for fun!
Insight: Spend time cultivating your mind and honing your talents. Besides, your improved and awesome skill set is what will get you to places!
You work too much when you don't find time to develop and become a better version of yourself.
Feeding Your Soul
My family and I make it a point to hear mass every Sunday. But is going to church enough? Probably not. Exercising your faith is. Being kind and generous and a genuine Christian is (if you are. If you're not, then being true to your individual belief is). My plate has been so full lately that sometimes I forget to give back and thank the Lord for what he has given me. I've taken such huge leaps and keep forgetting that I am but a kite whose string is being held by the Almighty. I can get cut off anytime, and I surely don't want that to happen.
Insight: Be grateful for each and every day you wake up breathing and capable of living. Be thankful for being the fully functional human being you are.
You work too much when you believe that you are responsible for everything you have. You're not. You are but a product of God's grace and goodness, and not everything is up to you. It's up to Him.
Maintaining Relationships
I've had zero time for friends. That sucks. I feel that they've given up on inviting me out to coffee or dinner or parties because I always turn them down. A friend came over to Cebu from Manila last September, and I didn't go out full-blast on touring him and showing him around the city because I had so much work to get done. If we did go out, I brought my laptop along. What quality conversations did I get out of doing that? None. And I feel so guilty.
Insight: The job you so care for will always be there if you do it right, but friends will get tired of your constant "busy-ness" - and they will feel like they're not your priority. They will feel unwanted and uncared for. That's not good, is it?
You work too much when you make your projects an excuse to not hang out and be a normal person who has friends and goes out once in a while to enjoy easy, breezy, fun conversations. It's not fun to be the one who always ditches their friends. Not fun at all. You're a sh*tty person, that's what you are.
---
The point of this entire post is that we need to value things other than our job or money. Everyone wants a good life, and everyone wants to earn to be able to have that good life and to be able to achieve the goals we've set for ourselves. But our time on earth is limited, and would you want to be sixty and wrinkly, sitting on the front porch of your lonely home (when you've retired, when people have come and gone, when your children have left the house to build their own families) wondering where all those years went? I know I wouldn't. So right now, at 12:44 am, I am closing my "shop" and will go lie comfortably in bed with my loved ones, planning to straighten up and become normal again.
Pray for my renewal. :P
Adios, workaholics! <3
So exactly how much work is too much? When do you know you're working too much?
Being Present
You know you're working too much when you feel like you're missing out on things. When was the last time I sat with my husband or child and actually talked with them - without thinking about which email I had to respond to or which to-do is left unchecked? I can't recall. I admit, I do spend time with them - we dine together, we talk, we play - but at the back of my mind, there's that tiny voice that keeps whispering, "You have to do this for blah," "The deadline for this is tomorrow," "Blah blah needs this right away." In the middle of our fun times, I just get up and leave to be with my computer. I know, it's unfair. And now that I've realized it, I feel bad.
Insight: Time lost to work that is supposed to be spent with loved ones is something you can never bring back. Once the moments have passed, they are gone forever. Boohoo!
You work too much when you neglect these precious moments and miss out on what the true goal of working is - to enjoy a quality life with the top people in your life!
Me-Time
God knows when I've had my last mani-pedi! It's been ages, I suppose. Ew. Each time I plan on going to the salon to get my nails done, I change my mind because that's just too much time wasted. How long does it take to dry my nails so I can type again? Too long, I tell myself. I keep planning on getting my hair done - my roots are shouting out like crazy, "Dye me! Dye me!"
Insight: The thing is, no matter how busy we get, we shouldn't let personal care just slip through the cracks. After all, we are only given one body. You know how are parents used to say, "Wala'y baligya nga kamot sa Carbon!" when we put our hands out of the winodw of a moving vehicle. There's a lot of truth in that! Wala'y baligya nga lain lawas sa Carbon if our bodies decide to go kaput. What will you do if it just gives up on you, huh? Taking on too many tasks is unhealthy - you already know that. You've got to say no sometimes. Remember, do not bite off more than you can chew (I have a sticky note on my notebook reminding me of this every day.)
You work too much when you think you're made of steel and forget that your body can only take so much.
Learning New Things
I know how it feels when you do things on a daily basis - you become like a programmed robot. You do this, you do that - and your brain just starts to atrophy. When you're too busy, you feel like you aren't capable of learning new things. What's stored is what gets you by. But really, I feel like I've been losing touch with how I used to be. I used to really love reading and learning. I mean, I do learn every day with the kind of job I do - but that's work-related. It's different when you're learning for fun!
Insight: Spend time cultivating your mind and honing your talents. Besides, your improved and awesome skill set is what will get you to places!
You work too much when you don't find time to develop and become a better version of yourself.
Feeding Your Soul
My family and I make it a point to hear mass every Sunday. But is going to church enough? Probably not. Exercising your faith is. Being kind and generous and a genuine Christian is (if you are. If you're not, then being true to your individual belief is). My plate has been so full lately that sometimes I forget to give back and thank the Lord for what he has given me. I've taken such huge leaps and keep forgetting that I am but a kite whose string is being held by the Almighty. I can get cut off anytime, and I surely don't want that to happen.
Insight: Be grateful for each and every day you wake up breathing and capable of living. Be thankful for being the fully functional human being you are.
You work too much when you believe that you are responsible for everything you have. You're not. You are but a product of God's grace and goodness, and not everything is up to you. It's up to Him.
Maintaining Relationships
I've had zero time for friends. That sucks. I feel that they've given up on inviting me out to coffee or dinner or parties because I always turn them down. A friend came over to Cebu from Manila last September, and I didn't go out full-blast on touring him and showing him around the city because I had so much work to get done. If we did go out, I brought my laptop along. What quality conversations did I get out of doing that? None. And I feel so guilty.
Insight: The job you so care for will always be there if you do it right, but friends will get tired of your constant "busy-ness" - and they will feel like they're not your priority. They will feel unwanted and uncared for. That's not good, is it?
You work too much when you make your projects an excuse to not hang out and be a normal person who has friends and goes out once in a while to enjoy easy, breezy, fun conversations. It's not fun to be the one who always ditches their friends. Not fun at all. You're a sh*tty person, that's what you are.
---
The point of this entire post is that we need to value things other than our job or money. Everyone wants a good life, and everyone wants to earn to be able to have that good life and to be able to achieve the goals we've set for ourselves. But our time on earth is limited, and would you want to be sixty and wrinkly, sitting on the front porch of your lonely home (when you've retired, when people have come and gone, when your children have left the house to build their own families) wondering where all those years went? I know I wouldn't. So right now, at 12:44 am, I am closing my "shop" and will go lie comfortably in bed with my loved ones, planning to straighten up and become normal again.
Pray for my renewal. :P
Adios, workaholics! <3
